If there’s one fetish we can all admit to, it’s a fetish for googling. I’ve learned a lot from the long list of internet searches that sent traffic our way this year (it seems people are really desperate for pictures of Eva Green naked, and I can’t say I blame them). So, here are some of the funniest, most confessional, and oddly specific internet searches that brought you to us. Enjoy!

(I wonder if the person who googled, “rumpf spanking,” mistyped ‘rump’ or if they just know me really well.)

hipster whore

slut whore women embrace

stupid slut bondage

end of construction sign patience

size of a magnum condom

sluts who want it

biggest erection

my brother asked me to give him a hand job

first time whoring

cartoon condoms

drunk men executives

using your sexual power

hipster jane austen

i want an active huge tall man for sexual pleasure

human bondage corset

take my ball and go home

my one night stand had magnum condoms in her drawer

never done it with two men

females who carry condoms are sluts

how to reform a slut

operating a hand drill

Woman aircraft worker, checking electrical assemblies, Burbank,CA

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Woman working on a B-17F navy bomber, Long Beach, CA

Drilling horizontal stabilizers for a Vultee “Vengeance” dive bomber

Worker touches up U.S. Army Air Force insignia, Nashville, TN

Assembly line workers at Douglas Aircraft Company

Operating a hand drill at North American Aviation, Inc., CA

All images circa 1939, courtesy of Library of Congress

Played by Ursula Andress in 1962′s Dr. No, this bombshell shell-collector emerges from the water just in time to help Bond (Sean Connery) explore the island lair of a mysterious evil scientist. She’s just as sweet and sexy as her name. And so self-sufficient too…her bikini comes complete with hip knife.

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2. DR. HOLLY GOODHEAD

Who better to help 007 conquer outer space than a girl named Holly Goodhead? Played by Lois Chiles in 1979 opposite Roger Moore’s Bond, Dr. Goodhead has everything: a girl-next-door face and a body that can pull off a yellow moon-suit. Plus she’s an astronaut? She must know a lot about black holes.

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3. PUSSY GALORE

Perhaps the most well-known Bond Girl, Pussy Galore was immortalized by Honor Blackman in 1964′s Goldfinger. She’s a strong, powerful woman, a pilot, and a foil to the willowy Jill Masterson, who famously dies from gold body-paint poisoning. Pussy starts out on the dark side, ready to send her Flying Circus to nerve-gas the soldiers at Fort Knox on Goldfinger’s behalf. But, like every good Pussy, she has a soft side, and after falling for Bond, she swaps the gas and saves the day. Truly a Pussy with a heart of gold.

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4. PLENTY O’TOOLE

Ok, so she’s not even in the film for all that long, but this name was just too good to ignore. Lana Wood (yes, Natalie’s younger sister) graced the screen in Diamonds Are Forever in 1971. She was clearly chosen for the role because of her big, beautiful…um…eyes. Man, her eyes sure look great in low-cut purple satin.

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5. VESPER LYND

The vixen of Casino Royale was originally played by Ursula Andress in 1967. Eva Green (left) reprised the role in 2006, and seems far more appropriate as the “dark-and-stormy” Vesper. No, her name has no obvious sexual innuendo. That’s because Vesper is classy. As classy as, well, Bond himself. She has a difficult-to-place European accent, a neckline that distracts even the world’s most focused poker players, and a brain. It’s no wonder 007 falls so hard for her. Bond has finally met his match.

Here’s a disturbingly accurate spoof on gendered advertising. For god’s sake, women, sort yourselves out.

In the end, we’ll be better whores than ever before!

]]> http://whoringtwenties.wordpress.com/2010/05/12/were-under-construction/feed/ 0 Executive Editrix men at work http://whoringtwenties.wordpress.com/2010/05/06/pop-fetish/ http://whoringtwenties.wordpress.com/2010/05/06/pop-fetish/#comments Thu, 06 May 2010 16:00:14 +0000 Executive Editrix http://whoringtwenties.wordpress.com/?p=1345 ]]>

It seems that over the past few years, the first ladies of popular music have been experimenting with bondage.  Ok, maybe not in the bedroom, but certainly on stage and about town.  They’ve been strapping on the thigh high boots, lacing up the corsets, and getting out their whips, chains and riding crops.  And we’re not just talking about goth rockers or punk chicks or Gaga–we’re talking Britney, Christina, Janet, Rihanna, and even wholesome little Miley Cyrus.

Now, I see the obvious connection between rock star and dominatrix–what, you don’t?  It’s all about projecting an image of strength and sexuality, and there were always boots and corsets involved.  What I find more interesting is the fact that these ladies are just as often placing themselves in the submissive role.  No one could forget the stir created by Brit’s sweaty video, “I’m a Slave 4 U You” (2001).  I mean, is there anything better than a song title that combines S&M with teen text speak?

So put on some fishnets, break out your ball gags, bend over and prepare to be spanked.  Here are some of the all time great moments in pop fetish.

Where did it all begin?  As usual, the answer is Madonna. Here’s her 1995 video for Human Nature.  Latex and corn rows?  This one really has it all.

.Back in the saddle for a more recent W Magazine spread.

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Britney was dressed like a general in the leather militia at the VMAs in 2002.

But turned into a glittery submissive during her 2009 Circus Tour.  She even hired some burly leather-daddy backup dancers to help her in and out of that swing.  How adorable.

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To me, Miley Cyrus looks pretty tame, but that didn’t stop this Elle photo from causing a stir of the “she’s growing up too fast” variety.  I guess she is still a teenager–she was only 3 years old when Human Nature was on MTV.

And that cruddy desk looks like something out of a snuff film.

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For her upcoming album, Christina Aguilera has ditched nice for naughty once again, but I think we’re already over it.

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Rihanna has been rocking the vinyl warrior look onstage and off for a while now.  I know it’s supposed to make her look powerful, but it just looks like a Hot Topic exploded all over her.

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And then there was Gaga.  It seems to me that this might not just be for show and LG might be a real-life submissive.  She certainly loves to wear binding clothes–let’s not forget the feather neckpiece that wouldn’t allow her to turn her head, the slim jim lacemask, and the SNL full-body gyroscope.   Here we have the most literal translation of her submissive tendencies.

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But honestly, with this 2008 photo spread for BlackBook, I think Janet Jackson might have out-submissived Gaga.  No, it doesn’t seem as genuine, and she didn’t actually wear it through a performance, but the hardcore headgear is pretty extreme.

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Apparently, she was promoting an album called–what else–Discipline.

We’ve added a new section to W20!

Check out TODAY IN SEX, our daily update of links we love and all the “news” that’s fit to print!

“I have one ironclad philosophy in bed. I want to be the vine, not the tree. By which I mean, if anyone is going to be wrapped around anyone else in bed, it better be me. I cannot stand having some tiny guy clasping himself to me. I’m short, but I’m curvy. I want to feel dominated, overwhelmed by a guy.”

Read The Wee Man

Good to see she’s back to her old tricks.  Here’s a piece on bathroom sex.

Read Don’t Forget to Flush

The other day I was thinking about sluts. Specifically, TV sluts. It seems like almost every TV show has at least one super slutty character. Usually this person is female, though sometimes we get a great male TV slut (I’m looking at you Chuck Bass).

What’s cool about these sluts is that they’re all so different. Well, they do all like to have sex. But honestly, that’s where the similarities end. There are power sluts and sluts who want to reform and sluts who embrace their sluttiness. There are young sluts and old sluts. There are happy sluts and sad sluts. Clean sluts and dirty sluts? Alright, that’s enough.

Just to make it easier for all of you, I’ve decided to break down the essential TV slut categories.

These ladies own their sluttiness. They eat men for breakfast. Sex is about pleasure – the lady’s pleasure. And it’s also about power; they get control through sex, either by using it to “handle” men, or to prove their own self worth. Rarely do these ladies care about the men they have sex with. They want it when they want it, and they pretty much want it all the time. They are dominating, powerful, successful business women. These ladies don’t need men for money, or to take care of them. Men are just for boning. As it should be.

Examples: Samantha Jones from “Sex and the City,” Amanda Woodward from “Melrose Place”

The poor little trailer trash slut. It’s hard to tell whether this girl is a slut because she wants to sleep around, or because she feels like she should. She’s the girl from the wrong side of the tracks, who has an unstable household, who doesn’t necessarily do well in school. There’s the sense that her sluttiness defines her as a person, in part because her circumstances don’t really allow her to be anything else. She might be one of the most judged kind of TV sluts, usually because she has a nice girl best friend she’s always being compared to (Rayanne and Angela are the perfect example of this). There’s almost always a moment where she breaks down about her sluttiness and gets really upset that everyone puts her into the “slut” box (hahaha – slut box). Coincidentally, this breakdown does not usually stop her from being a slut.

Examples: Rayanne Graff from “My So-Called Life,” Tyra Collette from “Friday Night Lights”

In the world of TV, much as in real life, there is nothing more annoying than a stupid slut. This girl is a slut because she’s too dumb to be anything else. And she’s also kind of mean, superficial, and annoying. Her sluttiness is often malicious – but not in a smart, powerful way (like the Power Slut). She just wants people to love her, and the only way she can think to go about it is to sleep with lots of guys. She doesn’t usually have a lot of friends. Though men tend to love her. Side note: men suck.

Examples: Kelly Bundy from “Married…with Children,” Edie Britt from “Desperate Housewives”

Senior sluts are the best sluts around, IMHO. They’re experienced, worldly, and they have no qualms about their slutting. They own it, in a way that can only come from having lots of old-lady confidence. And they’re usually really sarcastic and hilarious. These women aren’t just cougars, they’re like…lions. Of sex.

Examples: Blanche Devereaux from “The Golden Girls,” Nina Van Horn from “Just Shoot Me”

Sometimes in TV we run into the more rare form of slut: the reformed slut. These are girls who arrive on the scene with a dirty, dirty past. We generally get to see a glimpse of it, but for the most part they do everything possible to run away from their whoring roots. But it haunts them. Like a big, slutty ghost. In every relationship they have – even the super chaste ones – their sexy past is brought up over and over. Take Brooke from OTH. She ends up in “Clean Teens,” an abstinence club, just when a sex tape shows up (she slept with her best friend’s boyfriend!). These ladies need to realize that when it comes to TV, once a whore always a whore.

Examples: Jen Lindley from “Dawson’s Creek,” Brooke Davis from “One Tree Hill”

Here’s a male slut breakdown: he likes to have sex. He likes women (but maybe also secretly hates them a little). There is a clear reason he’s a womanizer that’s usually brought up in a later episode – maybe his mom abandoned him. Maybe he was hurt by an evil woman. Whatever, now he likes to revenge-bone the ladies. There are hints that he might be able to reform, but only for the right woman. And even then there are no guarantees that you won’t come home and find him in bed with your best friend. Or your mom.

Examples: Barney Stinson from “How I Met Your Mother,” Chuck Bass from “Gossip Girl,” Don Drapper from “Mad Men,” Logan Echolls from “Veronica Mars.” For the love of god, guys, stop slutting it up so much. Check out “TV’s Best Bad Boys” for even more examples.

A little confession: if I ever decide to have sex with a girl, I am going after Shane from “The L Word.” Like, I’m not even kidding. She is super hot and confident, and she looks really good in leather. She goes after ladies like a crazy sex machine, which proves that whoring knows no sexual orientation. TV homo sluts are usually a perfect combo of Male Sluts and Power Sluts and Sluts Who Own It (see below)…but with even less regret about their whoring – if such a thing is possible. Every once in a while they’ll try to reform for the right gal/guy. But seriously, they’re lucky if that sticks for an episode or two. Their whoring cannot be hemmed in by something as ridiculous as “love.”

Examples: Shane McCutcheon from “The L Word,” Brian Kinney from “Queer as Folk”

If we took all of the best parts of every category and put it together, we’d get the ultimate slut – the slut who totally owns it. These ladies aren’t sluts because of circumstance or guilt or power. It is just straight up about loving love. And loving sex. And men. And sometimes women. And sometimes both at once! For sluts who own it, sex is all about confidence and having a good time. I think we could all learn a lot from Sluts Who Own It. Though honestly, if you had this much sex in real life, you’d be a walking STD.

Examples: Lily Kane from “Veronica Mars,” Samantha Jones from “Sex and the City” (Yes, I realize she’s already in a category, but c’mon. She is kind of the best slut ever.)

So there you have it – a complete slut breakdown. Feel free to use this as a guide for future TV slut analysis. Because as long as we have TV (and for the love of god, please let us always have TV)  there will always be hot fictional characters slutting it up.

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Words by Rachel Carter, images by Christina Rumpf.  For more commentary on romance, sluts, and sexy vampires, visit Rachel’s amazing pop culture blog, POP!